August72023

slightmayhem:

relatablepicturesofpatrickgill:

The only good streamer on Twitch

“Charles, entertain chat for me, let me get you the mike.”

(swings boom mike over to cat on the bed while leaving)

Charles: “mraaa, mrrr, hmrr!”

(via windwake-me-up-inside)

3PM

sock-bread:

strongermonster:

strongermonster:

strongermonster:

strongermonster:

strongermonster:

strongermonster:

i buried a sword my f*ther made in my back yard YEARS ago and i live on a large plot of land and i can’t for the fucking life of me remember where, is anyone out here psychic enough to point me in the right direction, i’m getting exhausted and can only dig so many fucking holes in a day. yes i’m being serious, i want the fucking sword back

can’t use a metal detector bc junk land + lockdowns so i’m just going to dig holes all weekend until my momther starts screaming

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only 46 more plots to dig

i was rly unclear so, yellow is places where there’s structures or whatever so it’s not possible for it to be there. red x is where i’ve already been :(

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not pictured; mother yelling at me thru the window to fill in and re-seed the holes i’m making

i was going to take a break bc it’s hot and i’ve been playing manual-labour-battleship for going on 3 hours now, but someone just told me “there’s better lies to make up for notes xoxo” so now i ha—i Have to find this sword to deliver it personally up their ass

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LADS WE’RE IN 34 COULD THIS BE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAA

MY FAMILY SWORD RETURNS TO ME

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a girl reunited with her sword

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(via her-madjesty)

3PM

sotruefeste:

sotruefeste:

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okay Jaques 😭😭 why is this so funny

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it’s tragic because i didn’t include Orlando’s response, it’s even funnier. get him Orlando. you tell him.

(via her-madjesty)

3PM

dduane:

assigned-baby-at-birth:

guildenstern:

peatbogbody:

peatbogbody:

im dying over this thread of algorithmically-generated/otherwise low-effort Kindle covers

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don’t forget

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grossly inappropriate copy of animal farm that is on my nightstand at this very moment

…When you’re getting ready to design a book cover and you’re not sure what you do is going to be good enough.. it’s always reassuring to see something like [all of the above].

(via her-madjesty)

3PM

mr-elementle:

charlesoberonn:

Sumerian Veteran: *has severe PTSD but doesn’t know it because the term won’t be invented for another 5000 years* I fight the same battle in my dreams every night and my relationship with my family has fallen apart.

Sumerian Healer: *saw hundreds of veterans with the exact same affliction before* You’re cursed by desert demons.

actually we have recorded texts of sumerian warriors describing symptoms that closely match ptsd, and the diagnoses was not desert demons, but rather “Those dudes you killed are still attacking you with their ghosts because you killed them”

(via her-madjesty)

3PM

trifoliate-undergrowth:

So I’m in a deeply red incredibly conservative state.  I ran a pride month 5k awhile back. The usual group of 3 protestors with an incredibly loud bullhorn showed up to yell at us about how trans people are mutilating themselves and AIDS is God’s judgement and we’re a menace to children etc. etc. etc. But they were vastly outnumbered by runners and volunteers. One of the first race announcements was that they hadn’t ordered enough T-shirts for the amount of people who ended up running, and would have to reorder, so anyone who wanted another race T-shirt should sign up now.

We’re all used to the protestors by now, they show up everywhere. We just ignore them. Interacting with them just encourages them.

I hadn’t realized how early the race date was this year compared to previous years and hadn’t prepared as much, and there were a lot of hills; not to mention there was some confusion as to the race route which resulted in the announcer referring to it post-run as a “4-mile 5k” (they are supposed to be about 3.5 miles. One guy ended up in an entirely different district of the city from where the race route was and still finished first.) I ended up walking a lot of the race, but I finished it, and did do a fair bit of running.

I had top surgery a few years ago but I’ve only gotten comfortable running shirtless this year as body fat redistribution happened. I had been trying to decide if I wanted to run shirtless or not before the protestors showed up and started yelling, then I was like ah. I will run past the transphobes shirtless like a human middle finger. And that is what I did. was wearing delightfully garish rainbow shorts I found at a thrift store and my pink triangle necklace.

Some Americorps volunteers were directing runners at one of the more confusing junctions, I high fived one and panted that I had just joined Conservation Corps. The sound of angry bullhorn shouting faded almost immediately behind us, and there were rainbow flags hanging in several of the yards we ran past throughout the route.

As in previous years, a lot of tough incredibly fit beautiful older people, mostly women, breezed past me during the race. One jogged up even with me with an encouraging “what would you do for a klondike bar!” I wasn’t sure how to reply to this and didn’t have the breath to express that I did not want anything thick or creamy at that moment, but what did come out was “you did remind me that there’s beer at the finish line.” Another lady who walked and jogged near me for awhile near the middle-latter half of the race talked a bit and complained that one of the volunteers organizing the race hadn’t set up the “water” table with fireball shots that she did for some other races and we just got a regular water and gatorade station!

Coming back to the finish line I was handed a flag and ran past long rows of cheering people. Around the corner the protestors were still lurking, but were mostly silent now. Apparently they had gotten worn out by just standing there and not running. As I passed the bullhorn guy shook himself out of his torpor enough to give a halfhearted “is it a man? is it a woman? who knows anymore?” I passed him and the sound of cheering, and then the 80s music (I remember Blondie and ABBA) they were blasting closer to the finish line.

Once most of the runners were back there was a fun run for the kids. A couple of the older ones had also run the 5k (I just know the protestors were awful to the poor guys ughh) but all of them made a lap around the parking lot and got handed medals. All of the adult volunteers and participants spread out around the middle of the parking lot so that there was someone cheering and waving flags for the kids along every step of the route.

There were free snacks, water and beer courtesy of our sponsor [brand redacted]. There was also non-alcoholic “beer”, which I thought was nice to see, I’d been thinking there was a heavily alcoholic element to a lot of local queer events. I drank a lot of water and ate some food before getting a free beer, which still hit me pretty hard after the run. While I was hovering around the refreshment table a big handsome butch came up next to me and I noticed a faded tattoo on her arm of a chain, each link a different color of the rainbow.

I went to put something down in my car just as the protestors were starting to leave, and realized that they were moving on a course that overlapped with mine as I walked to my car. I decided I wasn’t going to stop or veer out of their way and just see what they did. As I got closer they seemed to be talking about how we had definitely totally noticed that they were leaving (no one had.) They noticed me coming towards them and suddenly got quiet, avoided eye contact and skittered out of my way. Ha.

I stumbled into the nearby fundraiser to cool down and sober up in the air conditioning before I left. They were playing girl in red, rupaul, that girls/girls/boys song by Panic! at the disco, and that Taylor Swift song “You need to calm down” that some people on this site complained was cringe. The lady next to me sang along to “shade never made anybody less gay.” I bought a baseball hat.

It’s easy, I think especially if you’re very online and not very active in your local community, to start feeling like there’s no queer community in your area and we’re outnumbered by people who hate us. Unless you live in the middle of Westoboro Baptist territory that’s generally not true. I cannot stress enough how incredibly conservative and red my area is. We’ve got like 3 very loud people with nothing better to do who bother us at every event, and large amounts of people across all demographics who show up in support. I’ve been thinking about this post by @headspace-hotel about not being able to find stuff online and this is a slightly different thing but yeah. If you don’t know what there is in your area, you don’t know what you’re looking for or where to find it when searching online. If you search “is there queer stuff happening near me” google is going to shrug and recommend you Products And Services that it can Sell You. When I moved back home after spending some time in a much more blue state (but which had much less of a sense of community–I think it’s the way we band together down here when we know just what the stakes are) I felt like I was going to be the only trans person in the state, then someone mentioned to me that there was a local private facebook group for trans people to share personal posts and resources with many hundreds of members. There are more of us that aren’t on facebook. The Facebook group, though, introduced me to many more resources I hadn’t known were in my area.

Get outside. Find some sort of local queer event and ask around. There will be other queer people. There is very likely something you’re interested in already happening or people who would love to work with you to start it if not. Even if you’re in a very red very rural state, you’re not alone, and chill or neutrally polite people vastly outnumber the few assholes, it’s just that the assholes are very loud and especially if you’ve been marinating in overwhelmingly toxic online environments it can feel like they’re everywhere. They’re not. Don’t give them that power.

The current legal landscape is terrifying and needs a lot of work but it doesn’t reflect lived experiences. Get outside, find your local community, show up to in-person events if at all possible, it’s so encouraging.

(via ignitesthestxrs)

3PM

myjetpack:

A cartoon. Ten men in suits sit around a large table at a board meeting. The man at the head of the table is saying:  The bad news is the company's position that "Climate change isn't real" is becoming increasingly untenable...  The good news is that if we hold on for a bit longer, we can effortlessly switch to "Oops! it's real, but now it's too late to do anything about it."ALT

My latest cartoon for New Scientist

(via her-madjesty)

3PM

alithographica:

“Stop being funnier than me on my own post” is one of my favorite healthy tumblrisms, along with things like “hang on lemme look that up…yeah this is funny” and explicit tone indicators (positive). Like yeah let’s build a world where we playfully format healthy interactions. You made a post and you wanted to be the star but damn, you’ve really gotta hand it to this other person for their really funny addition, so here’s the internet equivalent of giving someone a friendly punch on the shoulder while making sure they know they got a good grade in social interaction

(via suicidallyreckless)

3PM

resiliencewithin:

Babe, uncomfortable feelings are a part of life. They will come, as they have right now. They will go, as they always have. Then they’ll come back again, but they’ll also go again. There is no ‘peak existence’ that doesn’t include emotional discomfort. So, make some space for it, watch your little show, eat a little treat— a little enjoyment can co-exist with your discomfort. Try again tomorrow.

(via ievaxol)

3PM

lakevida:

why are people even fucking with gatcha games the wikipedia random article button is $0 and i just rolled a 10th century byzantine encyclopedia on my 17th try

(via harusha)

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